I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Randomize
