drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
