In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
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