I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
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