; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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