So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
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