i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
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