dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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