Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
