I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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