i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
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