She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Randomize
