R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
You need a sexual gate keeper
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
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