My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
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