We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Randomize
