She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
Why can't burritos get me drunk
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize
