She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
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