You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Randomize
