I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
Randomize
