hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
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