i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
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