I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
