Three words: puerto rican gang bang
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
