so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Randomize
