plz talk dirty to me
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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