so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Randomize
