google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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