I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
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