You work out of a Hotel?
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
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