Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
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