I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Randomize
