Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
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