i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Randomize