Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Randomize
