shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Randomize
