Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
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