This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
I have tasted many bathrooms
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
Randomize
