Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Randomize
