I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
