You were right. It hurts to walk today.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
Randomize
