He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
