Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
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