Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize