The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
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