Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
Randomize
