Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
