I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Randomize
