You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
I woke up under a house in Key West
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
