What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Randomize