If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
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