I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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