Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Randomize