Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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