we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
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