have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
Randomize
