remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
Randomize
