Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
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