Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize