This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
my poor anus
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
