you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
So apparently I’m into choking now
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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