Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
